Marthnissioner

By jaybeans on

Martha is meant to be the next commissioner of baseball

Martha's MLB Vision Statement

Over the last few years, Martha has adjusted this list as things have changed. Here's the recent version of what she'd do. But no matter how the bullet point list goes, there are three tenants that Martha keeps coming back to:

Build competitiveness across the League to give all teams a chance to win.
Ensure fair labor practices.
Grow a diverse, energized future for the sport.

And the current list

Do something about the fucking Mets
Kim Ng gets whatever job in baseball she wants
Greatly increase funding in low income (rural, inner city, Central America, etc) baseball programs, particularly in Black, Latin, and Asian communities
Extra innings have the same rules as innings 1 through 9 (no starting men on second base or other changes)
Eliminate nonsense tinkering. We will NOT be raising or lowering the mound. Not changing distance between bags. Not changing the size of the bags. Not winding the ball tighter
The A’s must stay in Oakland
Raise the league’s minimum salary
The highest paid player in the league can only make a set amount times the lowest paid player in the league to encourage the union to fight for raising the minimum salary rather than fighting for superstars to get more
Clubs can trade upcoming draft picks
Clubs can trade players currently on the IL
Clubs are allowed to offer one major league contract to one draftee per season. This is to prevent two-sport players from leaving baseball
Remove the second wild card. It stymies the trade market and drags out the postseason
Anti-Tanking Policy to avoid a “race for last place”.
1. In the first round of drafting, teams that reach the playoffs get the last draft picks inverse to their seasonal record. The team with the best record gets the last place draft slot
2. The remaining teams not in the playoffs enter a lottery for the top slots. Following draft rounds are based purely on season record, with worse teams getting higher picks regardless of whether they made the postseason
If you have three consecutive back-to-back 90+ game loss seasons, you lose your highest draft pick
Institute universal DH to provide equal job opportunities in both leagues
Hard trade deadline by the end of the All-Star break
Remove the waiver trade deadline
Players must be on the 40 man roster by the end of the All-Star Break to be eligible to play for that team in the postseason.
Change eligibility for the All-Star Futures Game to allow players with up to 60 major league games
Off season trade deadline one week after the Winter Meeting ends
Off season signing deadline one week before Pitchers and Catchers Day. For every day past the deadline that the player signs, they must miss a regular season game
Free agency comes after five years, instead of six
Arbitration comes after two, instead of three
Starters can only have two mound visits a game, from catcher and/or manager. Relievers get one visit
Give more promotion to players’ personalities. Have more players mic’d during the game. Allow celebrations after home runs, strikeouts, and good defensive play. Do media campaigns around players
Start an active PR campaign to get more women interested in the sport (beyond the “pink Mother’s Day” bs)
When the minor league season ends, MLB rosters expand to 34 overall but they can only use a given pre-determined 26 man roster per each postseason series.
Scale the luxury tax to MLB’s income—the more money the sport as a whole makes, the more teams can spend
The new luxury tax is 25% on the dollar for the first year, 50% on the second consecutive year. It is 50% for each consecutive year until the team goes back under the luxury tax
Complete overhaul of the signing bonus system, both draft and international
Zero tolerance for throwing at hitters. Both teams start the game under the assumption they’re under caution
Immeadiately ban “unwritten rules” of baseball (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unwritten_rules_of_baseball) as they are racist and regressive
Investigate a fine system for crimes, DUIs, cheating, drugs, slurs, Spider Tack, or otherwise unacceptable behavior not related to the “unwritten rules of baseball”. It’s less about the money and more for “name and shame” where the information is made public
1. do not yell “I got it” to a defensive player (like A-Rod did that time) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9NSSCzrnRw
Reorganize minor leagues to create greater parity in how prospects teams are able to develop at a given time
Increase minor league players’ salaries and living/working conditions
Prioritize expansion into Canada, Mexico, and Latin America (Puerto Rico, Montreal, Dominican Republic, etc) to raise global awareness of the sport and recoup money lost during COVID
Encourage growth of the World Baseball Classic and try to encourage teams and players from the MLB, the NPB, the KBO, and other leagues to participate.
Rethink blackout policy for MLB.tv / Extra Innings, making it easier for fans to see their teams
Create success metrics for umpires. Do NOT replace them with the robots or autocalls, but do set a percentage that the umps must reliably call within (for example, they’d be evaluated at the end of every season and must be in-line with the robocalls 90% of the time or more)
Cooperstown is to be a museum for the sport’s bright and dark moments and not just a myth-making machine
Post-season games to start at 7pm Eastern to keep games from going until 3 in the morning ET
Shorten the 3:40 break between innings. Soccer does picture-in-picture advertising, maybe something like that?
Institute the pitch clock
To limit the defensive shift, the fielding team must have two infielders on each side of second base
Tighter the postseason schedule to keep momentum
The “Texas Single” is now the “Martha Single”
Get rid of “every team must be represented in the All-Star Game
Tight pants. Tall socks.