PAGE 1, PANEL 1

Two men stand in a loading dock in front of a pile of electronic merchandise. This is ALAN and MARCUS. Both men are dressed in khakis and polo shirts that have a small label reading “GOOD BUY” over the breast pocket. This should be a wide shot so that we can see the large amount of merchandise (computers, televisions, DVD players and other expensive electronics) as well as get a good look at the two workers. The two men are opposites. Marcus is an older serious black gentleman while Alan is in his early twenties, his unkempt hair and slight wrinkles in his clothes betrays his slacker persona.

MARCUS: I’m gonna start taking this stuff inside.

PAGE 1, PANEL 2

A close-up of Marcus. He looks serious, concerned. We need to see that he’s the supervisor in his body language, that it is his job to make sure everything goes alright.

MARCUS: Keep an eye on the stuff.

PAGE 1, PANEL 3

A close-up of Alan. He looks calm, dismissive. He rolls his eyes and gives a wave of his hand.

ALAN: No prob.

PAGE 1, PANEL 4

Alan watches as Marcus picks up some of the goods and walks inside the building. Marcus walks with great posture while Alan stands like a bored two-year old.

PAGE 2, PANEL 1

Alan stands alone in the loading dock now. Bored, his gaze begins to wander.

PAGE 2, PANEL 2

Alan turns his head towards a noise. He looks surprised by the sudden sound.

SFX: SCREECH!

PAGE 2, PANEL 3

A close-up of Alan as he stares in confusion, one eyebrow arched almost impossibly high.

ALAN: What in the world?

PAGE 3, PANEL 1

A van has pulled into the parking lot attached to the loading dock, a huge pirate-style skull and crossbones has been painted onto the side of the van.

PAGE 3, PANEL 2

A PIRATE sticks his head out of the open van door. He has a patch over one eye and a stuffed parrot resting on his left shoulder. His hair is long and unkempt, as if he hasn’t had much access to a shower or modern hair products. He holds a long jagged dagger up threatingly.

PIRATE: Avast!

PAGE 4, PANEL 1

A wave of panic has come over Alan.

ALAN: Who are you?

PAGE 4, PANEL 2

The pirate offers a small smile and a little bit of a bow. 

PIRATE: We are but humble mall pirates.

PAGE 4, PANEL 3

The pirate leans close to Alan, pointing the knife at the merchandise, which is visible over Alan’s shoulder.

PIRATE: And we’ll be taking all that, if’n you don’t mind.

PAGE 4, PANEL 4

The pirate continues to point the knife at Alan as two large men carry some of the gear towards their van. Neither of these men are dressed even vaguely as pirates. 

PAGE 5, PANEL 1

The pirate watches with glee as he watches his cohorts take the loot.

PIRATE: Soon me hull will be burstin’ with swag.

PAGE 5, PANEL 2

One of the men walks over to the pirate.

MAN: Stuff’s loaded. Let’s go Darryl.

PIRATE: Aye. Time to go.

PAGE 5, PANEL 3

The pirate offers Alan a cruel smile.

PIRATE: Nice doing business with ya. 

PAGE 6, PANEL 1

Alan stands in the loading dock, alone. No merchandise. He looks stunned.

SFX: SCREECH!

PAGE 6, PANEL 2

Alan continues to stand there in shocked silence, staring at where the van used to be.

PAGE 6, PANEL 3

Alan still stands there shocked. Marcus walks in, glancing around at the empty loading dock.

PAGE 6, PANEL 4

Marcus looks over at Alan, who still stares vacantly.

MARCUS: Uh… Alan? Where’s all the stuff?

PAGE 7, PANEL 1

Alan turns to face Marcus. His eyes are wide and slightly crazed.

ALAN: There were these mall pirates. One had an eye patch and a parrot and… and… 

PAGE 7, PANEL 2

The two men stand in silence.

PAGE 7, PANEL 3

Alan hangs his head in defeat.

ALAN: I’m so fired. 

Comic Status